Wade Wilson: Deadpool has left behind a massive explosion at the box office this spring and walked away not looking at it, like a cool guy. Did you ever see 127 Hours? Hey, oh, oh, oh... Hakuna his tatas. Me and you are headed to fix this butterface. Sure, I may be stuck looking like pepperoni flatbread but at least fuckface won't heal from that. Well, joke's on you. Listen, the day I decide to become a crime-fighting shit swizzler, who rooms with a bunch of other little whiners at the Neverland Mansion of some creepy, old, bald, Heaven's Gate-looking motherfucker... on that day, I'll send your shiny, happy ass a friend request! You, go be a big brother to someone! Wade Wilson: He's pure evil. [Commenting on her shaved head] Colossus: Also scorched my nerve endings, so I no longer feel pain. Vanessa Carlysle: Colossus: Wade Wilson: I'm gonna do this the old-fashioned way: with two swords, and maximum effort. How can I help you? Orflasky? You know, that's really hard on your knees. Four or five moments. So read on, folks, to see if Deadpool actually liked chimichangas … [Shoving car's cigarette lighter into goon's mouth] That's why I brought him. Deadpool: Scott? His clever quips, hilarious references and witty fourth wall-breaking comments made him one of the most likeable superheroes to millions of people overnight (apart from the comic book nerds of course). Deadpool: Weasel: Deadpool: I give you a Blow Job. It's not... That's... Just give us a second. But he keeps on coming back. Wouldn't want you giving up on us, now would we? Negasonic Teenage Warhead: That's all right. You. They took turns. Where else do you put one out? Just every show they've ever put on after Friends.". Wade Wilson: Blind Al: Blind Al: ", "I can say Chimichanga in seven languages. Oh, no, finish your tweet. Wade Wilson: I want you to remember me, not the ghost of Christmas me. Deadpool: … [Ripping his own underwear out of his pants to make a white flag] [wedges himself through the Plexiglas opening between the back seat and the front]. I hear you grow back body parts now, Wade. The "Merc with the mouth" is arguably the most quotable comic book vigilante to have ever been sketched up, and we can't thank Marvel enough for finally gifting him the opportunity to rant, insult and mock every thing and person around him in an R-rated blockbuster this year. Smith." and one book, 100 Things X-Men Fans Should Know & Do Before They Die, from Triumph Books. She wouldn't have me. [cackles] Ideally, for others' sake. That sounds like a fucking franchise. Gavin Merchant: Just ride a bitch's back, like Yoda on Luke. You don't want any clothes that are not monochromatic? Follow him on Twitter at @Brian_Cronin and feel free to e-mail him suggestions for stories about comic books that you'd like to see featured at brianc@cbr.com! You bet on me to die? [voiceover, after Vanessa has agreed to marry him] Just every show they've ever put on after Friends.". Right up Main Street. F, R, A, N, C, I... Oops! There you go. Deadpool: [about to kill Ajax, he accidentally hits Colossus in the groin] [to Merchant] he wore the brown pants. Strip Club DJ: You're telling me. Deadpool: Why such a douche this morning? [later, after battle, has spelled out 'Francis' using bodies of bad guys]. Wade Wilson: Deadpool: Vanessa Carlysle: What is that? Me? There's a stupid. What can I do for you? She's gonna do a superhero landing. I don't want to see that or think of it again. Colossus: Over a lifetime, there are only four or five moments that really matter. His clever quips, hilarious references and witty fourth wall-breaking comments made him one of the most likeable superheroes to millions of people overnight (apart from the comic book nerds of course). Weasel: Vanessa Carlysle: Deadpool: Hey, Douche-Pool! Why do you make me make that? Wade Wilson: So keep away from Meghan. In Cable/Deadpool #13, Deadpool is in a restaurant that makes the best chimichangas … Jesus Christ. Deadpool: This is not going to end well for me, is it? Fuck! From start to finish the movie delivers multiple laugh … Dopinder: I didn't know what to do. Not out of the woods yet. Wade Wilson: And little Meghan, she's not made of money, but lucky for her, I got a soft spot. Cool? Deadpool: “It’s right next to the prostate, or is that the on switch?”, "If that hit you in the chest, I’m sorry. True legend. Yeah, it's right next to the prostate. Deadpool and chimichangas have definitely become a big part of Deadpool's pop culture imprint. Deadpool: No. Hey, hands off the merchandise. It's over. Ever hear of the one-legged man in the ass-kicking contest? Don't worry. Not gently. [to Vanessa] . Deadpool: "Wow, this is such a big house, but it's only the two of you here. How's the Kullen coming along? © 2020 Ziff Davis Canada, Inc. All Rights Reserved. "Well, I may be super, but I'm no hero. Wade Wilson: "Wow, this is such a big house, but it's only the two of you here. What do we do with the remaining two minutes thirty-seven seconds? Your bedroom. Or would you rather *I* build furniture and you pay rent? Goddammit! Weasel: Vanessa Carlysle: Oh, Canada! I don't want to. Where's your boss? Deadpool: [Deadpool throws Vanessa into the oxygen chamber as it rolls down the carrier and stops on the edge of it, Wade holds onto the oxygen chamber]. Who know what they'll have you doing? Well, that’s so bad guys can’t see me bleed!”, “You just killed the nice deranged chick from the juice bar that I was gonna score with someday maybe!”, “From the studio that inexplicably sewed his f**king mouth shut the first time, comes… me!”, “Crime’s the disease, meet the cure. Like the kind of stupid who admits he can't do the one thing I'm keeping him alive for? I haven't seen you since... [Deadpool knocks Bob out, and then Deadpool starts dragging him]. [Deadpool is about to shoot Ajax] Shit. CBR Senior Writer Brian Cronin has been writing professionally about comic books for over a dozen years now at CBR (primarily with his “Comics Should Be Good” series of columns, including Comic Book Legends Revealed). A window opens...]. Have you decided what you're gonna say to her? Go on, take your pick. I didn't ask to be super, and I'm no hero. Hey, wait! [to Vanessa] But you are not at all woman. [drops fistful of tickets on counter] Negasonic Teenage Warhead: She's sending away for all these colorful clinic brochures. Teen Girl #1: Ajax: Deadpool: [to The Recruiter] The way the world sees us. Wade Wilson: Twinkly, but deadly. [to Colossus] There was something wrong with the relationship and that was the only catharsis that they could find without violence. Am I crazy, or is your hand really small? You even LOOK in her general direction again, and you'll learn in the worst of ways that I have some hard spots too! I believe these are all done by different people. This is not gonna end well for you, no. The matching unitards? We truly appreciate your support. These timelines can get so confusing. Not true. [waving his broken wrists] [under his breath] In order to celebrate the release of the Deadpool film, we compiled 30 Hilarious Deadpool Quotes From Comics and Film. The "Merc with the mouth" is arguably the most quotable comic book vigilante to have ever been sketched up, and we can't thank Marvel enough for finally gifting him the opportunity to rant, insult and mock every thing and person around him in an R-rated blockbuster. He's super dead. You are now the proud protector of the planet Arus. Deadpool: It's like he mouth-sexed a can of helium. Vanessa Carlysle: Deadpool: A great memorable quote from the Deadpool movie on Quotes.net - Deadpool: Time to make the chimi-f***ing-changas! I bet you’re wondering, why the red suit? I put all my money on you and now I just realized I'm never going to win the, uh... Wade Wilson: Deadpool: Wade Wilson: Negasonic Teenage Warhead: Oh! What are you expecting, Sam Jackson show up with an eyepatch and a saucy little leather number? [Gasps] Anything's an improvement over the Hurdal. For a second there, it felt like we were three minutes-lion robots coming together to form one super robot. [turns around] Here, protein bar. Go. You know the funniest part of this? Now, I may not feel, but he does. So, you mean to say... after all this, you can't fix me? You know the turd with the smiling face and the eyes. Deadpool: Comic Book Questions Answered - where I answer whatever questions you folks might have about comic books (feel free to e-mail questions to me at bcronin@comicbookresources.com). The treatment affects everyone differently. Deadpool. Wake up a hero. You need to seriously ease up on the bedazzling. [clapping his hands] Weasel: [attacked by a woman] Or the whole world tastes like Mama Juice after hot yoga. No one is boom-boxing shit. Deadpool: I bet it feels huge in this hand. Deadpool: I mean, the line gets real... blurry! The drink, moose knuckle, But first... Weasel: Deadpool: [to the audience in the after credits scene] Tell me where your fucking boss is or you're going to die! Motherfucker, you're the world's worst friend. Got it? She's like Robin to my Batman, except she's old, and black, and blind. They have a wonderful TGI Fridays! I can't tell you his name, but it rhymes with "Polverine.". Wade gets ready for the final battle with the line, "Time to make the chimi-fuckin'-changas." About why we’re so good together. You're probably thinking, "Whose balls did I have to fondle to get my very own movie"? Deadpool: Vanessa Carlysle: That's classified. Now it's 80. Life is an endless series of trainwrecks with only brief commercial-like breaks of happiness. [Shoots at Ajax and misses] McAvoy or Stewart? Hiding real pain. Deadpool: One of the most enigmatic superheroes to ever grace Marvel Comics is getting his own film. Oh and don't leave your garbage all lying around. The Rickster? The way we... [Deadpool gets bored and shoots Ajax in the head, killing him], Deadpool: But when you find out your worst enemy is after your best girl, the time has come to be a f**king superhero.”, “I’d sing some Black Sabbath right now, but the bean counter says we spent all our money on writers. Uh, why the fancy red suit, Mr. I don't have a filter between my brain and my... Wade Wilson: Yeah, but this ain't a life worth livin' is it? Deadpool: I slept in a dishwasher box. Drink. Connections Ajax: Here's what I'm actually gonna do? | Oh, I wouldn't do that if I were you. Wade Wilson: Blind Al: Crime's the disease, meet the cure. | Hey, don't take any shit from him, Cunningham. This New Avengers Poster Reveals The Biggest Cast Ever.